Mixed and matched.

Was looking through some papers tonight and came across a little something i wrote just after America Thanksgiving.

With Andy Shauf serenading me through headphones and a hot coffee ready at my disposal I make my way north to Vancouver on the train from Seattle. The sun is rising on my right and the Puget Sound drifts by on my left with the early morning mist still concealing islands. Almost as if they were playing Hide and Seek.

All of this is putting me in a rather pensive state and I can't help but realize how much I have at that moment, much less remember all the times I've been blessed over my lifetime. The last 4 days spent with my sister, grandma and relatives have shown me how much I have been given and how little I appreciate it at times.

They say that "Distance makes the heart grow fonder", but what they forget to tell you is that a lot of the time it makes you forget too.

My time in Seattle has been a time of remembrance. A time of remembering how beautiful it is to walk down to the beach or just looking out over the sound through my grandparents living room windows. A time of remembering past gatherings sitting around the kids table with my fellow cousins causing a ruckus while all the parents talked of weather, work, travel and the trading of information of more distant relatives. A time of of remembering good food.. and even better family.

Heading back to Vancouver has me filled with mixed feelings. A mixture of happiness at having an amazing time with family, yet saddened at the idea that I might not see them again for quite some time.

There is also the confusion of coming from mixed worlds. Part of me wants to stay in the city and become more refined (or in-tune with it at least). The complexity of the "ME" culture yet the simplicity of mindless materialism.
The other part , the one most likely to win, aches to be distant from anything with a monetary value. Where your worth is based on you and what you have.

It is doubtful that I will ever come to terms completely with that.

The last couple days have been days of realizations... of how wrong I am about most of my opinions of people.


Life is full of constant realizations.
Realizations of how significant our past is.. for better or worse.
Realizations of how much we have to look forward to.

It's rather strange how you miss your relatives the most the moment you leave them.