solitude and nothing happening

life is kind of getting me down, friends.

between being too busy, taking on too much responsibility, and planning a trip to new york (conveniently placed in the middle of "paper season) I'm feeling really disconnected. life is becoming less centered on sharing life with friends and finding solitude, and more on the next paper i have due next week. my past week has been a lot of confusion and feeling lost, and a lot of wondering.

I took a silent retreat for the weekend at a place called the Mark Center, which was good- many hours of reflecting, and feeling like myself. now i'm just desperately trying to find more of that, in an everyday sense.

So, to put it simply, i need solitude. I need solitude, time alone, to unpack life and to figure out who i am. i think that looks a lot like falling asleep with content, or sitting back with a cup of coffee writing to a loved one. and it feels like a warm blanket, keeping us safe, reminding us that we are cared for. or something like that.

and its not a fake personality blanket, something i wear to give myself a false sense of security. its the other kind of blanket. the good kind. add that to the list of "things we should talk about around a campfire". or else, add it to the list of "reasons why we should drive to oregon". we'll see.

question of the day: where do i find solitude?
music of the day: ben kweller
man of the year: jamison dick