Home.
I'm wondering, how are you all feeling about "returning home"?
I know this can be a hard time of year, being that we are becoming adults, some of us redefining home, finding a place to call home that is not the place we grew up.
Thats how I feel, at least. Being back in Nanaimo really scares me, and fills me with great cynicism. I'm scared because I don't think my character can continue to develop here. I need to be in a place that is safe, where I know I can find care.
So, I know I think too much. I should really be enjoying these days in Nanaimo, of seeing masses of green again. But I am starting to get homesick.
My head is not really together. I was hoping this would turn into a profound statement about community, rather than a few dry statements. I just get a sense that its harder to feel alive during this season, unless your surrounded by a warm glow of a fire and candles, or at home with friends... or something. It gets hard to feel safe this time of year.
I'll be home soon.
PS - on my other journal I said "I can't wait to get back on the road again". Now, I just want to get back home.
PPS - I have been wondering what christmas is like in England for awhile (ever since watching the Muppets Christmas Carol again).
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which reminds me--i need to excavate my "christmas tape" ... feat. the muppets christmas carol, i hope! i can't remember what all's on it...
i'm home right now. i flew here the other day. flying is creepy. on the airplanes, i suppose i considered the concept of our human family and the folks i shared seats with--the man on my first flight was a dad, with a moustache. i have a dad with a moustache. the lady on my connecting flight was named stella. my grandma is named stella. i guess everybody's somebody. i guess everywhere is home. i guess we get to choose whether that's horribly impersonal or comfortingly intimate?
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