I realize the last couple of pieces i've been writing have been embarrassingly bad, almost insensitive... and it seems like a lot of my conversations in the past week have been the same.
thus is paper season.
So I'll try and make up for it. lately i have been feeling cynical about my hours spent on facebook. and my resulting bomb of a personal life as a result.
I think that everyone has two personalities; The paper self, which is a description of yourself as a person, or maybe the person you would like to be, that you sit down and type. with socializing online you type up this description and say "this is me".
Then there is the real self. the person that you do not see in yourself. the real self is what your friends see in those few moments where you let down your guard, and stop trying to impress everyone.
if you live online, or try dating someone online, you miss the big picture. everyone has those weird quirks about them, these strange and insignificant habits that make you unique. say you make a weird sound when you eat, or you walk a certain way, or you have lines in your eyes that you get from feeling sad.
i dunno. its the small things that your friends notice... that is what is most beautiful about a person. its the stuff that doesn't fit into small description boxes.
but i could be wrong. on a minor note, i am having trouble with relationships. lets talk about it this week.
on an even more minor note, i had to re-format my computer and I almost lost everything... ten page papers, poetry, and music. someone up there likes me.
later.
4 comments:
i have a hard time writing up those "about me" sections. like you, i find people most interesting and most beautiful in real life. coincidence?
ps. have you seen Amelie? i have no idea if this is actually related, but at the beginning you are introduced to the important characters. their intros are comprised of a list of quirky things in their personalities, and odd things they like and dislike. pet peeves in a sense. i think it's a great example of getting past the paper self and into the real self.
i like minor notes.
:)
let's have some time when we hang out of being very solemn, like minor notes tend to be.
Graeme... I can't believe I lived in that house for the past month and never once watched Amelie even though I saw it laying there all the time! What a shame! But I guess a good shame that we don't watch much tv there!
Adam... sometimes those noises while eating get really annoying!
I feel like I keep longing for that kind of tangible community... but then when I actually get it (albeit with my parents... not necessarily the community I'd choose) Some of those little quirks get really old.
I'm learning a lot about just enjoying whatever stage I'm in... although it's so hard for me not to wish for something so much more!
Sometimes I find that the paper selves and real selves are complete opposites. People are less inhibited online, so they sometimes say things they regret later on. But I agree, the very thing that makes us human and unique can only be experienced in real life. Well said.
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