revisit

i'm sure i've mentioned my habit of revisiting.
books mainly.
albums often.
films occasionally.
journals or other writings from time to time.
it's endlessly interesting to see who i've become and what God's revealed and hidden and how the world and the wants and the weights have shifted since i last encountered a piece and how i perceive it differently. what once was bland might now break my heart..what once broke my heart might still break my heart..what once went unheard might now be the point..it goes on and on i suppose.

i'll credit our brother karl with bringing me back around to my dear dear treasure, mewithoutYou this weekend. i've been on a music cycle that's neglected them for a good while, but now is the perfect time for them to come back to me. i can read their lyrics and aaron weiss' journals over and over, he is one artist and spirit i admire a great deal. i was just pondering Nice and Blue pt.'s one and two and appreciating the revisit. you don't see very many musicians do that. you might see progressions or elaborations but not really revisits.

i know i'm the nerd who's always posting something other than my own work on here (which i hope will change a bit in the fall), but one of my favorite things is appreciating and sharing the fine work of others. so tonight when i meant to be in bed early, i present to you:

Nice and Blue
parts one and two.

pt.1
from [A-->B]Life

You were a song that I couldn't sing
you were a story I couldn't tell
I've only ever loved myself
But I've loved myself so well.
And how defeated I return!
(you're nice and blue, you're nice and blue)
I missed what I was supposed to learn
as all I learned about was missing you.

A life left half behind, though no longer
blind I can't yet see. I'm not the boy that
I once was, but I'm not the man I'll be.
I've been waiting now, for six years on
(and have only just begun)
For the day you'll hold her in your arms,
oh risen Lord, my precious one.

I was once the wine, and you the wineglass.
I was once alive, when you held me.
God became the glass,
all things left were emptiness
Oh, my little girl, if you look out
and see a trace of dark red that used
to be my face, in the clarity of his
grace: remember me.


pt.2
from Brother, Sister

You were a song I couldn't sing
caught like a bear by the bees with its hand in the hive
who complains of the pain of the sting
when I'm lucky I got out alive!
a life at best left half behind,
the taste of the honey still sweet on my tongue
and I'd run (Lord knows I've tried)
but there's no place on Earth I can hide
from the wrong I've done

then I saw a mountain and I saw a city
steadily sinking but suspiciously calm
it wasn't an end, it wasn't a beginning
but a ceaseless stumbling on
there, strapped like a watch on my wrist
that's finished with gold but can't tell the time
was all or what little pleasure exists
seductively sold and uselessly mine

our horse was fast and first from the gate
with the lead of a length at the sound of the gun
and the last of our cash laid down to fate (at 17 to 1)
but by the final stretch in the rear of the pack
that nag limping bad in the back
we reluctantly gave all the money we'd saved
1/5 to the commonwealth and the rest ot the track
then I saw a forest grow in the city
and a driftwood wall of birdhouse gourds
and I'm still waiting to meet a girl like my Mom
who's closer to my age
the true light of my eyes is a Pearl
equally emptied to equally shine
and all or what little joy in the world
seemed suddenly simple and endlessly mine

I was once the wine and you were the wineglass,
I was once alive when you held me,
but God became the glass,
all things left are emptiness
but oh, you're just a little girl
if you look out and see a trace
of a dark red that was once my face
in the clarity of such grace,
you'll forget all about me


.