007//changes

I’ve become accustomed to watching things change: seasons, people, life in general. Over the past seven months I’ve seen changes in things both obvious and subversive; great and small; for the better and for the worse. I think it’s important, at a time like this, to look back and see how this last school year has influenced me, changed me and made me who I am right now.

The transition from a life of complete freedom (see Captain) to a life of structure, deadlines and scheduled bus stops was hard at first. But I find that once I settle into a routine, it seems like everything else that has happened (and will) becomes completely out of mind. Let’s look at the past first: I never thought I would transition in to school life so seamlessly. Here’s some history for people that are just getting to know me. I spent the two years before this school year playing in a band. We spent this last summer either on the road playing shows, or spending weeks at different camps, where we would lead worship or play a show, or even counsel sometimes. The band decided to break up about two weeks before the start of September, which was when school was starting. After a few random happenings, I managed to get accepted in time. This was the first sign to me that God really wanted me to be here. I went into school with a bit of an elitist attitude. I figured since I had already done the whole, “Bible college experience”, with all the socializing and such, that this time around I would focus 100% on studying, and not care less about making friends. So for the first two weeks, I made it a point not to get to know anyone on campus, which ended up being the two most lonely weeks of my life (productive nonetheless). That was the first lesson I learnt this year: the importance of community. After meeting a few really great people, I started to realize how much we can learn from each other, and how when people get together, things start happening (and I don’t mean that in a sexual way…you perverts). God even says that “when two or more of you are gathered in my name, I will be with you”. This school places a great importance on community, and it’s something I’ve come to cherish. The greatest lesson I’ve come to learn this last semester deals with the issue of social justice. I’ve never considered myself any sort of activist; I’ve never kept up on current events, so I never wanted to make an opinion on an issue. This semester I was exposed to a lot of social justice issues around the world, and I think that issues of peace and non-violence are something that the church has completely overlooked. I’ve always said that I was a pacifist, when the truth is I was always just a passivist.

*Quick side-note; I’d footnote this if I could. Pacifism is not just denying to participate in violent activity, but rather it’s a forward motion; it’s practicing non-violence. Many people belief that pacifism is a passive gesture, like saying that peace is merely the absence of war, when really it’s a lot more than that. A pacifist would not say that peace is merely the absence of war, but it is the presence of justice, love and shalom, all of which are verbs (in motion).

Where was I…I always knew I didn’t agree with war, but this semester I learnt why I belief that. If God is love (which He is) then how can someone proclaiming to be His follower justify taking the life of another human being. All mankind was made in the image of God, which means that every human life is precious. I can’t accept the fact that killing another human can be done in the name of God, as many conservative American evangelicals belief. But I mean, that’s me. I think that’s something that has definitely changed about me this semester: I’ve begun to develop and form my theology. I’m starting to feel more passionately about the things I belief in, but question why I belief that. Thankfully the profs at school are very open about presenting lots of ideas, theories and theologies, so I’ve been exposed and challenged a lot.

Thankfully, some changes come right on time: spring is definitely here. Just as all the leaves turn brown in autumn, now there is a flurry of pink, white and green around campus. Though the clouds haven’t left, everyone seems to be in high spirits.

Of course, there are some things that never change: I still love music; I still love writing; I still get dumb crushes on cute girls. Life is still good, God is still good. There was this quote that this monk from Taize (sic?) in France that said: “Life is beautiful, God is good and he will be good.” If I had to sum up this year in one word, I think “love” would be adequate. I’m learning how to love God more, I’m learning how to love people more and I’m learning how to love creation more (which I want to learn even more). I’m thankful for the people I’ve met, who have changed me, and I’m thankful for God’s grace, and the fact that he loves us enough to create such a beautiful world for us to live in.

“This world is full of love, we still have hope.”